If you’re at work right now and upset with your manager read these so you don’t actually go through with the thoughts of smacking him.

 


I don’t know where I found this cartoon. If you know, I will post credit.

 

I hired a clown for a party. But when he came over I had to can him because he wasn’t wearing enough makeup and I could see his inner pain.

 

Dog Owner: Would you wash my dog and car for a $10000 USD
Friend: Yes.
Dog Owner: Would you wash my dog and car for $1 USD?
Friend: No, what do you take me for?
Dog Owner: I’ve already figured that out. I’m just figuring out the price.

 

Walking around a garage sale a little boy sees a phone and picks it up. Staring at it with a confused look he asks his mom. Is this what you used to use to connect to the Internet with?

 

After 10 minutes of staring at a paper shredder the owner of the company goes to his assistant and asks for help. She takes the paper and shreds it for him. He yells to her, “I think I will need 2 copies of that”.

 

My perfect job -
Sitting in an open cubicle and staring at a monitor for eight hours. Filling out reports that don’t get read, but do get stacked. Getting $1000000 on my lemonade stand game. Occasionally looking attentive when approached by the CEO. Finding a way to keep the beers cold in my desk. Keeping an unlimited supply of cookies within reach and a fresh pot of coffee for those meetings we all have to discuss what times would be good for us to have a meeting. Oh, and it would be a bonus if the computer wouldn’t crash and would come with all the latest software that I actually need to do my work (when I get tired of playing challenging games and want to relax a little).

 

I wrote some of these because I was sitting in a mall, watching videos, and decided to entertain myself. If you don’t like them, you can Google some funny adult jokes. This is as good as you get on such short notice. lol